It has been alleged that marriage rates have been declining. In the last thirty years, the statistics showed that the first marriages, fifty percent of them, have been ending up in divorce. The rates of divorce have also been varying on the education level of the partner including other factors such as religious beliefs. However, once there is a divorce, it becomes rather difficult for children and the adults as well.
Divorce to adults is one of the most stressful moments in life with the issue mostly appearing uncertain and ambivalent by the parties in terms of the future. If children are brought into the picture, they experience a lot of negative effects such as acting out, insistence on reconciliation, guilt, blame, anger, abandonment feelings and denial.
Divorce might be necessary and perhaps a healthy choice in some cases but a number of people would love to salvage the relationship and the union, or what has remained of it. As couples face issues or problems, knowing the right time to seek counseling in marriage might not be that clear, but there are good reasons why they should.
Negative Communication
If there is negative communication, after it has deteriorated, it is quite hard to move towards the right path. You should seek counseling if negative communication is experienced and involving a feeling of being disregarded, withdrawal from conversations, feeling insecure and depressed.
Sometimes it involves the conversation tone as well. This can also be communication leading to feelings that are hurtful, physical and emotional abuse including nonverbal type of negative communication.
Affair
After a partner has been involved in an affair or both husband and wife are considering affairs, then marriage counseling is a necessity. To recover from a specific affair is not something that is impossible although a lot of work will be required. There must be a commitment plus forgiveness in a willing way as they forge on into the future since recovery from something as serious as an affair is not that easy.
In case both partners have the commitment to undergo the process of therapy and honest about it, salvaging the marriage is not rocket science. However, the parties might decide to move on in different directions, at the very least.
Roommates Rather than Married Couple
In case a couple has started feeling like roommates living under the same roof and nothing like marriage partners, there is strong need for counseling. However, it hardly means that since a couple might not be engaging in the same things the relationship is strained or about to be lost.
But if the couple is suffering lack of intimacy, conversation and communication and other elements that make a wedding and they feel as simply co-existing, it is obvious a skilled marriage counselor is needed.
Together for Children’s Sake
In case the couple are together because of children only, involving a third party is necessary might turn to be helpful. Most couples believe staying together for the sake of children is helpful but it is mostly detrimental to them. On the other hand, if the couple ends up resolving their issues and moving towards a healthy and positive relationship, it is the best decision for all parties within the union.
There are other reasons why you should seek marriage counseling and pointers to strains in your union but the most important thing is making sure the union remains intact and there is mutual love, understanding and respect.
Remember that there are no bridges that can not be crossed on your way to happiness. Sometimes just a little sacrifice can give you more than you thought it would.
Brenda Panin is a passionate blogger and a contributor to several blogs. She writes about relationships and marriage counselling. In her free time she enjoys reading poetry and drinking strong black coffee with her friends at the local cafe.
