How to Find the Right Place to Live

Finding a place which suits both people in a new relationship and the needs of both people who work and who may have slightly different backgrounds can be a manically difficult task. At least it can be super frustrating. When my future wife and I began looking for a place to live, six months before our wedding date, we never realized how difficult it was going to be.

Let me say first we are boomers in our late 50’s, we both have different style jobs and we lived 40 miles apart. The distance was not the key, the living area’s were diametrically opposed to each other. Our incomes were not too far apart but we still had a budget we had to live with. To complicate matters we live in Southern California where mortgages are relatively cheap and rents rather expensive.

Since we really were not in a position to purchase we thought finding a rental would be easy enough. We both need an office at home so a three bedroom would be great. A two bedroom with a loft would be ideal. We also really wanted a garage. Not so much for parking but for storage. My storage locker was costing me $85 a month, and she had a full garage of stuff as well. First of all; lofts are hard to come buy. Developers would do well to consider today’s upwardly mobile young people and the huge baby boomer population which still works using the Internet in planning their buildings. Lofts are in high demand and not easy to find.

We used a regional on-line pay as you go site to get some guidelines and it was very helpful. Mainly it helped in determining what we did not need or could not afford. We also determined those place which we would have lived in back in 1975 but not today. Crime rates have changed and what previously were “nice” area’s are not “dumps.” Driving in neighborhoods we would like to live in is usually the best way to go but in today’s world of Group Rental Companies and Craig’s List scams, it is not as advisable as it once was.

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best place to live

I lived in Los Angeles on the West Side, she lived in Thousand Oaks. I lived on a crowded street in a 1970’s apartment building. She lived in a more upscale gated community of rentals where coyotes, rabbits and raccoons were likely to cross your path any moment of the evening. I work early in the morning in L.A., she drives around doing inspections. She prefers to work where she was currently living, I just needed to be as close to work as possible due to traffic considerations.

It was soon evident what we wanted was not in the cards for our budget. We went a little farther out to Camarillo. Right on the golf course thrilled us both. This condo rental was ideal, sitting at the base of a nice mountain. We would pay water and cable. It was within our budget. We agreed and sat down with the property management folks to go over the HOA rules. To say they were restrictive is an understatement. One of the rules stated you could not leave your garage door open more than 10 minutes if you were not inside! Then the representative said we had to pay ALL utilities! Not what we were told. He said the sales rep misunderstood our point blank questions. There was no budging. Then the manager lied about what those utility rates would be. What capped it was an ethnic slur he used in describing one of the clauses not realizing I was one of the members of that ethnic group. We were out of there in a hurry.

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Another place we liked we had passed on to take the Camarillo place, was now an option. Unfortunately it was rented by now. Back to square one we started making adjustments. At this point we were no longer going to be married, we were married for several weeks and still living apart. Frustration was setting in.

Finally I said “Okay let’s set our goal again and refocus.” We decided three bedrooms, or two and a loft was the goal, our budget was $1900 a month and 30 miles from my work would be just fine. We needed a garage too since we were combining two homes into one. We also wanted at least 1100 square feet but hoped for more. The next day a new listing in the group rental agency we were paying for popped up.

“Two bedroom with loft, nice area, halfway between Los Angeles and Ventura, gated community for $1875 a month, one car garage, 1000 square feet.” I called. There was a mistake. There was no loft and it was 900 square feet. We decided to see it anyway. After measuring the rooms and driving through the very quiet, rustic and somewhat rural community we decided we could make this work.

Our fears of sharing an office were unfounded. The second bedroom is more than big enough and while a loft would have given us room to expand and a place for visitors, really this place was just fine. It fit the budget, it was quiet, 30 miles to work for me, right in the heart of her work area and the coyote we saw wandering by when we went to sign the lease, cinched the deal.

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The bottom line was focus, refocus and setting goals you know you are going to change. Compromise, compromise and compromise. Those last three words may make you nervous but remember, even in your late 50’s this is probably not going to be the last place you live. It is a transition to where you want to be and let that be your ultimate goal.

Ken Thomas writes for Onboard Informatics, a leading real estate data company and is a professional blogger who enjoys providing real estate advice.

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